I think one of the hardest things for me in my adult life is letting go of what people think of me. Peoples opinions or hurtful words dig deep and I hold onto them. I’m not the kind of person that holds a grudge, but if something hurtful is said I will think about that for a very long time.
Lately I’ve been really focusing on my inner strength and empowering other women to know that they are worth it and that they don’t need to compare themselves to others.
Do you play the compare game?
Maybe someone has a cleaner home than you, or they’re skinnier than you, or they’re smarter or more “established” than you. Sound familiar?
For me, I’ve always felt undervalued as a friend or person. So when I see someone who is wildly popular and has many friends, I compare. I constantly question why not me?
I think back to this one time where someone judged my parenting based on the pure act of not understanding. At the time we were working twelve hour days, we were traveling to Vancouver and back on weekends, living in hotels. When we were home we ate out almost every meal because I mean, what mom of three has time to work 12+ hour days, look after kids, clean AND cook? Well, I didn’t end up cooking a ton. I also now look back on this time and realize that I was very depressed. We literally were energizer bunnies running on no energy. This friend made the assumption that we didn’t have money to feed our kids and spread this hurtful rumour around. We had more than enough money to purchase food – but at the end of a grueling work day, would you rather go grocery shopping or order in? Of course, we always chose the latter.
I’ve carried those hurtful words with me for the last three years now. I constantly think of what people might think when coming into my home. Okay, scratch that. I think of what people must think of me in general!
Are you one of those people who constantly apologize for your home and appearance because you’re embarrassed that it isn’t perfect all the time?
How can we let another person’s words and assumptions take a place in our hearts? We know people aren’t perfect, yet that doesn’t seem to matter.
Proverbs 29:25 It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe.
I know for me, I put way too much weight into what someone thinks – even if that person is a mindless troll on the internet that I will never meet.
Words hurt and it’s time to start letting go.
“The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think.”
In the last year.. well, basically since January, I’ve been focusing really hard on letting go. I’ve showed my bare face more. I’ve let my goofy nature out a bit more. I’ve been me.
If people don’t like it, they don’t have to like it. Did you know that not everyone has to like you? Wise words spoken by my mama.
I wanted to jump on today to encourage you, If you’re feeling discouraged and like you wont ever be enough, you are. Do not let someones opinions of you live in your heart.
I’m mostly talking to myself because I feel like this is an ongoing lesson that I wont stop learning. But know that the only opinions that matter are from those that love you.
It’s time to start letting go.
I understand Jess and I think many of us go through this. I was unable to have children so cats instead (yes crazy old cat lady). I would travel during one of my jobs and the last job I would even take work home. I would come home and rush around to make dinner and other chores and spend over an hour trying to put together the right outfit because I always wanted to look perfect – geesh. I was laid off after 20 years and took social security at 62 and did odd jobs after that. The most interesting and difficult journey was really getting to know myself again. When you figure out that your job, money or physical appearance and all the material things we obtain don’t define you, it is a different life. The simple things that one only gives themselves fleeting moments to enjoy because of all the rushing around become more front and center. Rushing around to try to make the house and yourself look perfect and not taking time to watch the squirrels play in my yard and the birds and the butterflies in the tree in front of my sun porch window. Sure I have challenges in areas of my life but I am grateful, like you, that letting go and getting rid of caring if everyone thinks you are good looking or accomplished is a challenge but is so freeing. I don’t think the Lord put me here to care about such superficial things but to put the love out there. Good luck on your journey.
I’m agree with you 1,000 %. Keep all the negative people away from your live and home. And by the way you are a super mom.
Like you, I’ve wondered why I was not popular like so many of my friends…yes, undervalued is the word. As I’ve aged I’ve discovered while I still feel this way at times, my life is no longer based on people’s opinions. One of my favorite Bible verses is, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”, Luke 12:15
I really needed this today!!! Thank you so much for your post 🙂 I always find these encouraging and you are a great role model. I have four kids and always struggle why I’m not as fit as others or why I can’t work when others are judging me for being a stay at home mom and it’s been hard. This post envoy me to just be myself and ignore others because you just can’t please everyone.
Oh Irina!
Let go of those thoughts right now! They have no right to live in your heart and mind. I find when I think like that, I really need to step back and focus on all I do. It puts things in perspective!
Thanks for reading xo