Friends! I’ve missed you and what seems like forever since I posted on here, really, has only been a handful of days. I’ve had some technical issues and I’m finally back up and running. Do you know how hard it is to run a life without a computer when it’s virtually all on the computer?
I’ve been thinking a lot.. since we’re drawing near to our due date, which would only be 4 weeks away. All of my dear friends who I was pregnant with are now giving birth to their perfect little miracles and although I’m so happy for them, I wont lie and say that I am not a teeny bit jealous. Brin would be a big sister in four short week. I by now, would be a hump back whale, but yet enjoying my last few days of pregnancy. Eating all the goodies & slurpin’ all the starbs. I would most likely be purchasing the last few outfits and day dreaming about what his little face would look like. Mine or Glens.
It’s hard not to be in that place. I mean.. up until a few days ago, it seemed like thoughts of our dear Nolan were happy. I honestly hadn’t shed a tear in a very long time. But then it hit me on march 1st that April 17th was our due date.
Want to know something so cool though? I have a God who has carried me through it all. I have a God who knows everything and knows the future. He would know that 2016 would be our hardest year of business and we would have to shut down The Rugged Rooster. He would know that my Nana would pass away in December. He would know that January and February would be our slowest months in business since starting in 2013. He would know all the mini details and downfalls and to bring a baby into that all would be exhausting and honestly, I just don’t feel like Nolan would have gotten our undivided attention. God knew this all before I even conceived Nolan & even though it hurt so deeply to say goodbye to our baby boy. I’m thankful that God knows what is best and I do not.
It reminds me of that song that one of my friends sent me in the first few days after I gave birth to Nolan. It’ by Hilary Scott ” Thy Will Be Done”
A line in the song says
“I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not”
Thinking about the events of the last year. 2016 was the hardest year for Glen and I. I can’t really get too far into details because it will depress the socks off y’all.. but lets just say, somehow, God carried us through that. Thinking back, I don’t even know how. It was by the grace of God we made it through.
This year we are left with so much fresh starts. Such an exciting future – if we can just get through this slow period in our business… and let me tell you folks, it has been desert dry. We’ve had a few teeny orders come in, but since we only take 30% now, and that has to somehow sustain us, pay our business bills, keep us operating and so on.. man, it gets spread very thin.
Mainly, I just wanted to hop on today to give you hope. If you’re in a situation where you feel like there is no way out, that you are drowning, or that your heart my break in two – know that there is a God out there that will roll you up and wrap his arms around you. Love you, hug you and ease away the hurt. He knows best & Man… I’m so dang glad that I don’t. I continually prayed last year and this year that God would just carry us and shut doors that aren’t supposed to be opened, and that he would open doors that we are supposed to go through and he did. He’s so good!
Thanks for hoping on & listening to me rant today. It felt good to get these thoughts out. The last week my hurt has been sad and I’ve huddled away in my little home and tried to brush the sadness away but sometimes you just have to embrace it.
Give your cares to the Lord and he will give you the desires of you heart.