The last week few weeks have been such a mix of emotions. People ask me how I’m doing all the time and It’s so hard to answer. Some days I feel like I’m good and others I’m numb and sad. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please check out my blog here to get a bit of back story on what our little family has been going through this month.
It’s been 16 days since I had our lifeless baby and we’ve been going over the top to make sure our family takes all the stops to unsure that we mourn properly. On friday we put up our Christmas tree. To some it might seem early, but to a mourning family, it’s the perfect mix of cheer.
The glow alone makes me feel so cozy right down to my bone. I needed something to make me smile at night when the kids got tucked into bed and the Christmas tree does just that.
I’ll be honest, I’m not super awesome at decorating trees. Every year I plan to make it “perfect” and it just isn’t one of my strong suits. But man, the glow…. Oh, so gorgeous!
I’ve been super super introverted and I’ve only left my house twice to go to my parents house. I mean.. that can’t be super healthy, right? I just don’t want to see people. I’ve been avoiding my messages on Facebook like a plague and I just want to be surrounded by my little family all the time, drink Starbucks Christmas lattes and live in my cozy jammies. I’m trying not to be too hard on myself as I know I need this time to grieve, but I just hope that someday I will return back to normal.
So, on top of our little one going to heaven, we also moved at the very end of October. It was a gong show and I honestly think I’m mentally and physically tired still.
I’ve been slowly unpacking my house and I have a few DIY’s that I want to do in our home. So here are a few DIY’s you will be seeing in the next few weeks
-DIY Farmhouse Drop Sheet Curtains
-Dollar Store Galvanized Bins Turned Vintage
-Round Up of the cheapest farmhouse decor
Here is a few shots of my living room and I’m currently saving for this rug and I’ll have my drop sheet curtains up soon. It’s starting to feel so homey.
and my console that I STILL love. I had to crop my TV out as I was playing Christmas music. 😉
I just feel like I’m the worst at blogging lately. I feel like all I want to do is blog from my heart and blog sad thoughts. But you guys don’t come hear to be sad, you come here to be inspired! I hope that I can do that once again soon.
This week we will be having a little funeral for Nolan, so I will also be blogging that with photos of gifts that people have given us for him. We have been so blessed. We have people we do not even know offering to do things for us. Seriously, so blessed I can’t even stress how much.
I will try and get a DIY on this blog this week. For now, thank you for sticking around and lovin’ on me!
Ruth Edwards-Shirley says
November 22, 2016 at 12:04 amI am so sorry for your loss. The pain you are suffering must be so extreme, and I pray for God’s comfort and blessings for you and your family during this very sad time of mourning.
Your tree looks lovely.
theruggedrooster@gmail.com says
November 22, 2016 at 2:53 pmThank you so much Ruth. God has for sure been carrying us in his arms lately.
Liz Maurice says
November 22, 2016 at 3:37 amIt will all come together in time. Slow down to enjoy what you have more, who you have with joy, and what you had with your whole heart.
Only you make a schedule and we can wait on you.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your son Nolan. We, your faithful followers will support your every decision, and stay with you.
Hugs,
Liz
the53farmhouse.blogspot.com
Marilyn Soto says
November 22, 2016 at 3:42 amOh my dear Jess – your post is so Life Affirming -while it truly is a very sad time for you and your family , you have spoken volumes to your readers about how dear life is.
You are showing a positive outlook (whether you realize it now or not ) that encourages optimism about life ⇒ a context that is hopeful and ultimately life-affirming. Keep speaking from your heart.
Find and enjoy every little thing you can right now ….. like the tree and the coziness of your jammies and the warmth of your latte .
theruggedrooster@gmail.com says
November 22, 2016 at 2:51 pmThank you so much Marilyn. You have no idea what your words did for me. I couldn’t sleep last night and as the rain poured I read your comment and it put such a massive smile on my face.
theruggedrooster@gmail.com says
November 22, 2016 at 2:53 pmOh thank you so much Liz!!!
Thank you for taking the time to post a comment. I hope that my honest blogs inspire those going through tough times to share with others. I swear the power of prayer is so amazing.
Barbara L. Borowy says
November 22, 2016 at 11:52 pmThis is a BIG sorrow and it will take a long time to heal. Be patient with yourself. Don’t be concerned with what others say or think. You have to heal in your own time and in your own way. Take time to grieve, this is a hard time of the year to have to face your loss. Remember, others are sad too but only you knew this child.Many prayers are with you.